Think my Therapist Hates Me

Well I was supposed to meet with my therapist on Jan 5 but the stomach flu hit my household pretty hard. I left her a message to reschedule and she never called me back. I seriously think she hates me. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to find another therapist because then I have to go through the whole panic attacks and fear before meeting the new one. Not to mention having to go and sit in the family doctor's office with a whole bunch of strangers to get a referral. But if I don't keep up with the therapy then my disability claim will be revoked. So many things to deal with. I really feel like she doesn't like me at all. Sometimes she's been so mean to me that I've cried my eyes out the whole session and then when I get home I don't want to go back there ever again.
I'm not sure what the solution is. This whole depressive period has been horrible. I feel like nothing is working and none of my therapists are willing to help me. They see me for a few months/year and then because of the paper work for my disability I feel like they get tired of me and they suggest seeing someone else cause there is nothing more for them to do for me. One tells me get off the medication the other one tells me if you're not on medication I can't help you. I'm so confused.
Maybe I'm not as nice a person I think I am cause it just seems like no one really likes me. I don't talk badly about people. I try my hardest not to judge people and if I do think something of someone I sure as heck wouldn't say it to them to make them feel bad. I love my kids and my family and my friends. Overall I think I'm an alright person. Just seems like no one else thinks so.
Please excuse me while I go put my hand in the snow bank